Clinically reviewed by Bülent Ada, BSc.(Psychol.)(Hons.), MAPS · Updated November 2025

Every year in Australia, more than 3,000 people die by suicide. Around three-quarters of them are men.

That statistic sits alongside another one: men are far less likely to seek professional help for their mental health than women. They wait longer, they minimise their symptoms more, and they are less likely to tell anyone what they are going through.

This is not because men suffer less. It is because many men have been taught — through culture, family, sport, and workplace — that needing help is a sign of weakness rather than a sign of being human.

This article explores why that happens, what mental health difficulties actually look like in men, and what can make the difference between struggling alone and getting meaningful support.

Why Men Are Less Likely to Seek Help

The stoicism problem

Australian culture has historically valued toughness, self-reliance, and emotional restraint — particularly in men. Phrases like “harden up”, “boys don’t cry”, and “she’ll be right” are so embedded in Australian vernacular that many men absorb them as rules about who they are allowed to be.

Research consistently shows that men who hold more traditional masculine beliefs — that showing vulnerability is shameful, that emotional expression is feminine — are significantly less likely to seek mental health support, even when they meet criteria for a clinical disorder.

This is not a moral failing. It is the result of decades of social conditioning, and it is changeable.

Stigma and the fear of judgment

Many men fear that disclosing a mental health struggle will change how others see them — as weak, unstable, or less capable. This fear is particularly strong in workplaces, sporting environments, and communities where toughness is prized.

Stigma is declining, but it has not disappeared. Men in rural and regional Australia, men in male-dominated industries, and men from certain cultural backgrounds may face particularly strong barriers.

Not recognising the signs

Men are also less likely to recognise when they are struggling psychologically. This is partly because depression and anxiety can look quite different in men than they do in clinical descriptions or public awareness campaigns.

How Mental Health Difficulties Present Differently in Men

Depression that doesn’t look like sadness

The image of depression — crying, withdrawal, expressing hopelessness — reflects how depression often presents in women. In men, the same underlying condition may look very different.

Men with depression are more likely to:

• Become irritable, angry, or aggressive rather than visibly sad
• Increase alcohol or drug use as a way of numbing or coping
• Throw themselves into work, sport, or risk-taking behaviour (behavioural numbing)
• Withdraw from relationships or become emotionally unavailable
• Experience physical symptoms: headaches, fatigue, digestive issues, back pain
• Focus on physical symptoms rather than emotional ones when describing how they feel

Because these presentations don’t match the “sad man” image of depression, many men — and the people around them — don’t recognise what is happening.

Anxiety that looks like control or anger

Anxiety in men may manifest as:

• Hyper-controlling behaviour (trying to manage anxiety by controlling their environment)
• Difficulty delegating or relaxing
• Irritability and short-temperedness (hyperarousal presenting as aggression)
• Avoidance of situations that feel threatening, framed as “not my thing”
• Excessive focus on performance and achievement as a way of managing self-worth

The substance use overlap

Men in Australia are significantly more likely than women to use alcohol and other substances as a primary coping strategy for psychological distress. What may begin as “a few beers to unwind” can escalate into dependence. Addressing the underlying mental health condition — not just the substance use — is critical to recovery.

Common Stressors That Affect Men’s Mental Health

Understanding what drives distress in men helps identify when someone may be struggling.

Work and financial pressure. Many men still anchor significant portions of their identity in their professional role and capacity to provide financially. Job loss, financial stress, business failure, or a perceived inability to provide can be devastating to a man’s sense of self.

Relationship breakdown. Separation and divorce are major risk factors for male suicide. Men are more likely to lose their social support network in a relationship breakdown, and may face additional stressors including reduced contact with children, financial loss, and loss of a primary confidant.

Fatherhood transitions. Paternal postnatal depression is real and underdiagnosed. Research suggests that around 1 in 10 new fathers experience significant depression or anxiety in the perinatal period, yet most postnatal mental health conversations focus exclusively on mothers.

Health diagnoses. Men may find it harder to acknowledge and accept a serious health diagnosis — physical or psychological — and may delay seeking treatment.

Loneliness and social isolation. Many adult men have few close friendships and rely primarily on a partner for emotional support. When that relationship is absent or troubled, the result can be profound isolation.

How to Start the Conversation

If you’re a man who is struggling

You don’t have to use the words “mental health” or “depression” if those words feel impossible. You might say to a GP: “I haven’t been myself lately. I’m not sleeping, I’m irritable, and I’m not enjoying things I used to enjoy. I’d like to know what’s going on.”

That’s enough. That’s all you need to say. A GP can ask the right questions from there.

Getting a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP opens the door to evidence-based psychological support with Medicare rebates — you can typically claim 10 rebated sessions per calendar year.

If you’re worried about a man in your life

The research on help-seeking in men shows clearly that the most important trigger for men seeking professional support is often a trusted person in their life directly and caringly raising the issue.

Some practical guidance:

• Choose the right moment. Side-by-side conversations (walking, driving, fishing) are often easier for men than face-to-face.
• Say what you notice, not what you feel. “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed flat lately” tends to land better than “I’m worried about you.”
• Ask directly. “Are you okay?” is a good start, but follow it with: “Really — how are you doing?” RUOK Day has popularised this, but the conversation matters every day, not once a year.
• Don’t try to fix it. Listen. Resist the urge to offer solutions immediately.
• Know your limits. If you are concerned about someone’s safety, reach out to Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) for guidance.

When to Seek Professional Support

You don’t need to be in crisis to see a psychologist. In fact, the earlier psychological support is accessed, the better the outcomes tend to be.

Consider speaking to a GP or psychologist if you have:

• Felt consistently low, flat, or empty for more than two weeks
• Lost interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy
• Had significant changes in sleep, appetite, or energy
• Been using alcohol or substances more than usual
• Had thoughts of harming yourself or not wanting to be alive
• Been struggling to manage anger, irritability, or emotional reactivity
• Experienced a major life change, loss, or stressor that you’re having difficulty processing

A psychologist can help you understand what is happening and develop strategies that work for your life. Effective psychological therapy for men doesn’t require you to talk about your feelings for hours. Many evidence-based approaches are practical, structured, and goal-focused.

Resources

• Lifeline — 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support)
• Beyond Blue — 1300 22 4636 (mental health support)
• MensLine Australia — 1300 78 99 78 (men’s relationship and mental health support)
• RUOK — ruok.org.au (resources for having conversations about mental health)
• Movember Foundation — au.movember.com (men’s health programmes)

Frequently Asked Questions

Why are men less likely to seek mental health help?

Many men have absorbed cultural messages that needing help signals weakness, through phrases like “harden up” and “boys don’t cry.” Research shows men holding more traditional masculine beliefs are less likely to seek support even when they meet criteria for a disorder. Stigma, fear of judgement, and not recognising the signs also contribute. These patterns are changeable.

How does depression present differently in men?

Rather than visible sadness, men with depression are more likely to become irritable, angry or aggressive, increase alcohol or drug use, throw themselves into work or risk-taking, withdraw from relationships, or focus on physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches and back pain. Because this does not match the stereotype, men and those around them often miss what is happening.

How can I support a man who might be struggling?

Choose a low-pressure moment, such as walking or driving side by side. Say what you notice rather than what you feel, for example, “you’ve seemed flat lately.” Ask directly, then ask again with genuine interest. Listen rather than rushing to fix it. If you are worried about safety, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 for guidance.

What should a man say to a GP about his mental health?

You do not need clinical language. You might say, “I haven’t been myself lately. I’m not sleeping, I’m irritable, and I’m not enjoying things I used to.” That is enough for a GP to ask the right questions. A GP can prepare a Mental Health Care Plan, opening access to rebated psychological sessions.

Does therapy for men mean talking about feelings for hours?

Not necessarily. Many evidence-based approaches are practical, structured and goal-focused rather than open-ended emotional discussion. A psychologist can help you understand what is happening and build strategies that fit your life. You do not need to be in crisis to attend; accessing support earlier tends to lead to better outcomes.

Related reading

• Depression treatment services
• How to get a Mental Health Care Plan
• Depression versus sadness

About the author: Bülent Ada is the Principal Psychologist and Founding Director of Mind Health Associates in Parramatta, Sydney. With over 20 years of clinical experience, Bülent works with individuals navigating depression, anxiety, trauma, and major life transitions. Learn more about Bülent.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If you are concerned about your mental health or the mental health of someone you know, please consult a qualified health professional or contact a crisis service.

Ready to take the next step? Mind Health Associates offers evidence-based psychological support for men in Parramatta and via telehealth across Australia. Contact us to enquire about appointments.