Clinically reviewed by Bülent Ada, BSc.(Psychol.)(Hons.), MAPS · Updated June 2025

The morning starts the same way it has for weeks. Stomach ache. Tears. Pleading. Sometimes a full meltdown at the door. Your child is not going to school again, and you don’t know whether to push harder, give in, or call for help.

If this is your reality, you are not alone — and you are not a bad parent. School refusal has increased significantly in Australia since the COVID-19 pandemic, and it is now one of the most common presentations for child and adolescent psychologists.

This article explains what school refusal actually is, what makes it different from ordinary reluctance or truancy, what helps (and what doesn’t), and when to seek professional support.

What Is School Refusal?

School refusal — also known as Emotionally-Based School Avoidance (EBSA) — refers to a child’s difficulty attending school due to emotional distress, rather than intentional truancy or defiance.

The key distinction: school refusal is driven by anxiety, distress, and overwhelming emotion — not by a desire to avoid the rules, engage in delinquent behaviour, or stay home to do something more enjoyable.

Children with school refusal typically:

• Want to go to school (they often say so)
• Experience genuine physical symptoms (stomach aches, nausea, headaches) that resolve when they stay home
• Are often engaged, well-behaved, and high-achieving — or struggle to manage anxiety in ways that are highly visible
• Feel significant distress at separation, social situations, academic pressure, or specific aspects of the school environment

This is important because the intervention for EBSA is very different from the intervention for truancy. Forcing a genuinely anxious child through a distressing experience without support can worsen rather than improve the situation.

Why Has School Refusal Increased?

School refusal has increased dramatically in Australian schools since 2020. Contributing factors include:

• The pandemic and disrupted routines. Extended periods of remote learning disrupted school attendance patterns and social development at critical developmental stages.
• Increased social anxiety. Many children found that the social skills required for in-person school — managing groups, navigating complex peer dynamics, handling transitions — had become more challenging after extended social isolation.
• Academic pressure. For some children, time away from school during lockdowns widened perceived gaps in learning, increasing anxiety about return.
• Mental health awareness. There is greater awareness — among children, adolescents, and parents — of anxiety and mental health. This is broadly positive, but in some cases contributes to increased identification and naming of distressing experiences.

Common Triggers for School Refusal

Understanding what is driving school refusal in your child is important, because different triggers call for different responses.

Separation anxiety — particularly common in younger children. The distress is about leaving the caregiver, not about school itself.

Social anxiety — fear of peer judgment, embarrassment, performance situations, or social interaction. Common in older primary and secondary school-aged children.

Academic anxiety — fear of failure, of being seen to struggle, of tests or presentations. Often co-exists with perfectionism.

Specific phobias or traumatic associations — a frightening experience at school (bullying, a distressing incident, a conflict with a teacher) that has become associated with the environment.

Sensory and neurodevelopmental factors — many children with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences find the school environment genuinely overwhelming. For these children, environmental adjustments are as important as anxiety management.

General anxiety or depression — school refusal can be a symptom of a broader mental health condition.

What Helps — and What Doesn’t

What doesn’t help

Forcing the child through the distress without support. This is a common first response — it is understandable, and it is often exactly what well-meaning teachers and some professionals advise. For children who are genuinely anxious, forcing attendance without addressing the underlying anxiety or adjusting the environment rarely resolves the problem and can worsen distress and avoidance.

Extended leave without a plan. Keeping a child home indefinitely because school is too distressing may provide short-term relief but increases long-term avoidance. Every day at home reinforces the message: “school is dangerous.” Re-entry becomes harder, not easier.

Punishing the behaviour. School refusal driven by anxiety is not defiance. Punishing it does not address the underlying cause and can damage trust.

Waiting and hoping it resolves. For some mild school reluctance, this may be appropriate. For sustained, significant school refusal, early professional involvement produces significantly better outcomes.

What helps

Understand what is driving it. Talk to your child — with curiosity, not interrogation. Talk to their teacher. Try to identify the specific aspect(s) of school that feel most distressing.

Gradual reintegration, not cold turkey. A graded return to school — starting with shorter attendance, reduced demands, specific accommodations — is usually more effective than abrupt full-time return. This needs to be planned collaboratively.

School-home collaboration. The school, parents, and ideally the psychologist need to be working together. Schools have both legal obligations and practical resources. Request a meeting with the school counsellor, year coordinator, and/or principal to develop a shared plan.

Treat the underlying anxiety. Anxiety is the driver. Evidence-based anxiety treatment — typically CBT, with exposure components — addresses the root cause rather than just the attendance behaviour.

Accommodations for neurodivergent children. For children with autism, ADHD, or sensory differences, the school environment may genuinely need to change. Sensory accommodations, movement breaks, reduced social demands, and clearer structure are often important alongside anxiety treatment.

Stay regulated yourself. This is genuinely hard. Parents of children with school refusal often feel enormous stress, guilt, and conflict. Your own emotional regulation — not performance of calm, but genuine self-support — matters. If you are struggling, support for yourself is worthwhile.

When to Seek Professional Assessment

Consider requesting a psychological assessment if:

• School refusal has been occurring for more than 2–3 weeks
• Your child is significantly distressed and the situation is not improving
• You suspect an underlying anxiety disorder, depression, autism, or ADHD
• The school and family have tried consistent strategies without improvement
• Your child’s peer relationships, sleep, or mood are significantly affected outside of school

A psychologist can assess what is driving the school refusal, provide diagnosis where relevant, develop a graded reintegration plan, work with your child on anxiety management skills, and liaise with the school.

A GP referral and Mental Health Care Plan can provide access to rebated psychological sessions for your child.

Resources

• Beyond Blue — 1300 22 4636 | beyondblue.org.au
• Kids Helpline — 1800 55 1800 (free, 24/7, for children and young people aged 5–25)
• Headspace — headspace.org.au (mental health support for young people aged 12–25)
• Parentline NSW — 1300 1300 52 (support for parents)

Frequently Asked Questions

What is school refusal?

School refusal, also called Emotionally-Based School Avoidance, is difficulty attending school due to emotional distress rather than deliberate truancy or defiance. It is driven by anxiety and overwhelming emotion. Children with school refusal often want to go, experience genuine physical symptoms like stomach aches that ease at home, and feel real distress about separation, social situations, academic pressure, or aspects of the school environment.

How is school refusal different from truancy?

The key difference is motivation. Truancy involves choosing to avoid school, often without distress and sometimes to do something more enjoyable. School refusal is driven by anxiety and emotional distress, and the child usually wants to attend but cannot. This distinction matters because the support for anxiety-based avoidance is very different from responses appropriate for truancy.

What should I do if my child refuses to go to school?

Try to understand what is driving it by talking with your child with curiosity and liaising with their teacher. A graded return, rather than abrupt full-time attendance, usually works better, planned collaboratively with the school. Treating the underlying anxiety, often with CBT, addresses the root cause. For neurodivergent children, environmental adjustments matter alongside anxiety support. Staying regulated yourself helps too.

Does forcing my child to attend school help?

For a genuinely anxious child, forcing attendance without addressing the underlying anxiety or adjusting the environment rarely resolves the problem and can worsen distress and avoidance. Punishing anxiety-based refusal does not address the cause and can damage trust. At the same time, indefinite leave without a plan tends to increase avoidance, so a supported, graded approach is preferable.

When should I seek professional help for school refusal?

Consider a psychological assessment if school refusal has lasted more than two to three weeks, your child is significantly distressed and not improving, you suspect an underlying anxiety disorder, depression, autism or ADHD, or consistent strategies have not worked. A psychologist can assess what is driving it, develop a graded plan, and liaise with the school. A GP referral enables rebated sessions.

Related reading

• Anxiety support services
• What a psychological assessment involves
• Our fees and Mental Health Care Plans

About the author: Bülent Ada is the Principal Psychologist and Founding Director of Mind Health Associates in Parramatta, Sydney. Mind Health Associates works with children, adolescents, and families navigating anxiety, school refusal, and neurodevelopmental presentations. Learn more about Bülent.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If your child is experiencing significant school refusal, please seek support from a qualified health professional.

Ready to take the next step? Mind Health Associates offers assessment and therapy for children, adolescents, and families in Parramatta and via telehealth. Contact us to discuss how we can help your family.